zenandtonic

I went to a Kadampa Buddhism karma workshop today and honestly, it felt like the teachings landed at exactly the right time for me. We talked about how karma works, why we get so stuck in resentment and “this shouldn’t be happening” mode, and how understanding causes and conditions can actually help us let go. Here’s what stayed with me the most…

Everything happens because of causes and conditions, there’s no single person to blame

One of the biggest reliefs was the reminder that difficult things don’t just randomly appear. They come from previous causes and conditions often our own past actions ripening in ways we can’t fully see right now.

I realised how much I (and probably most of us) stamp our feet inside when something painful happens: “This isn’t fair. This hurts. Why is this happening?.” That resistance creates this constant inner conflict with reality. The workshop helped me see that at the heart of a lot of suffering is this refusal to accept what is. When we stop fighting it and start accepting that it’s arising because of causes, the emotional storm loses some of its power. There’s no ultimate villain, just causes and conditions coming together.

What are causes and conditions?

They explained it really simply. A cause is like the main seed you plant. An apple seed is the cause it has the potential to become a tree. But that seed on its own won’t do anything. It needs conditions, the right soil, water, sunlight, temperature, and protection from pests. When all those conditions line up at the right time, the tree grows.

It’s the same with our life experiences.

Take a difficult situation with someone it could be a breakup, family stress, a loss, pressure at work, or simply when a person gives you mixed signals, warm and engaging one moment, then distant or quick to blame you when things get emotionally heavy.

The main cause might be their own karma, patterns of attachment (wanting the good bits without the responsibility), aversion to guilt, or just not seeing the full impact of their behaviour. That plants seeds that will ripen as suffering for them later.

The conditions that make it hit you so hard could be your own past trauma flaring up, the stress you’re already under, your vulnerability at the time, or nature of the whole situation.

The behaviour didn’t come out of nowhere, it was the karmic seeds meeting the right conditions. Reactions like hurt, confusion, needing clarity, getting frustrated was past seeds ripening under those particular conditions.

This perspective takes the personal sting out a bit. It stops you spinning in “Why did they do this?” and helps you see it more clearly as cause and effect. It doesn’t mean we have to like it or stay in it, but it does mean that we don’t have to carry the blame or the endless “what if” stories.

Sometimes however unfair it is, some people will cast you as the villain in their story, and that’s okay. In messy situations, especially when emotions run high, it can feel easier for others to make someone else the “bad guy” than to sit with their own discomfort or half-truths.

Understanding karma has helped me loosen my grip on needing to control how others see me. I don’t have to defend myself endlessly or prove I’m not the villain. My job is to keep purifying my own mind, plant better seeds, and choose compassion over resentment even if that means letting others hold onto their version of events. True freedom comes when I stop carrying their narrative and focus on my own peace.

Karma is mind and I can influence how it ripens…

Karma isn’t some external punishment. It’s basically the mind’s law of cause and effect. Everything we intentionally do with body, speech, or mind plants seeds. And “karmic appearances are appearances of mind” a lot of what we experience is shaped by our own mental habits.

The practical bit I liked was this, we’re always creating karma, but we can become more mindful. Instead of letting the mind run on autopilot and react with anger or gossip, I can pause and ask: “Is this thought or speech helpful or harmful?” Small moments of awareness can plant better seeds for the future.

Separating the person from the action…

This one really helped me. When someone hurts you, you can separate the action (which is unskillful and comes from their own confusion, attachment, or aversion) from the person themselves. The person isn’t evil or fixed as “bad” they’re also suffering under their own delusions and creating karma they’ll have to deal with.

Holding onto anger or resentment just keeps the painful link alive in me. If I want to be free from any hurt, I need to cultivate some compassion and kindness for that person (even if I still protect myself and keep my distance).

How this is helping me let go…

Understanding karma is gently dismantling my old story of “This shouldn’t have happened to me.” Instead, I’m starting to see painful situations as ripening karma opportunities to practise acceptance, patience, and compassion rather than fuelling more anger and confusion.

By looking at the faults of my own mind (the kleshas like attachment and aversion) and working to reduce them, I can slowly build more peaceful states.

The workshop left me feeling quieter inside. It didn’t magically erase the hurt or confusion I’ve been carrying with certain things, but it reminded me to give compassion, not anger to those who have hurt me, the practical tools to stop fighting reality so hard and to take more responsibility for my own mind and actions going forward. That feels like real progress.

Forgiveness has also started to make more sense to me through this lens. When someone hurts us, it’s rarely because they’re deliberately evil it usually comes from their own place of suffering. Their actions are driven by their own confusion, attachment, fear, guilt, or whatever kleshas are strong in their mind at the time. They’re creating heavy karma for themselves, even if they don’t realise it. Holding onto anger or resentment doesn’t punish them, it just keeps the pain alive in me, replaying the hurt and planting more negative seeds in my own mind.

True forgiveness isn’t about saying what they did was okay or letting them back in. It’s about cutting that internal cord so I’m no longer carrying them around with me. When I can see their behaviour as coming from suffering rather than some fixed “badness,” compassion arises more naturally. That compassion frees me. It’s one of the most powerful ways to purify my own karma and stop the cycle of reactivity. I’m not there yet every day, but I can feel how important it is not for them, but for my own peace.

I’m really glad I went. These teachings feel usable in daily life, especially when old patterns or difficult emotions pop up. If you ever get the chance to do a Kadampa karma workshop, I’d definitely recommend it.